Heat Wave

I...am...dying.

I can't even say that this is the equivalent to being lit on fire because fire isn't WET.

It's so f*cking hot, I just wanna die. My shirt is sticking to me, my pants are sticking to me, my f*cking flip flops are sticking to me.

Alright, I believe then! THIS REALLY IS HELL!

Tummy Rumbles

I'm hungry, tired, and dreading today.

I'm so tired that I saw the name Alan Lamoureaux and thought it said Asian Lemonade.

I'm so hungry that it wasn't really funny.

And now I want lemonade...

Fat Joke?

"Where'd Mark go?"

"I ate him."

"...That's not good, Trisha. You'll get fat."

Comments

So I can't post a fucking comment, what the fuck. This is fucking retarded.

Berry Surprise

 

You see that cake? That is one cake you shall never, ever have. So of course, I had to put a picture there that would taunt the crap out of you. I mean, you're just going to have to stare at that delicious cake, knowing you can never have any. You will never eat the delicious and oh so tasty berries that rest atop its vanilla-y tasty icing. Your tongue will never know the delights of smooth, creamy jelly-and-cream filling and soft moist golden yellow cake. You can only look at it. Not touch, not taste, not even SMELL. Feel the torture. FEEL. IT.

So I brought a bag of what I call berry surprise. It's really not a surprise, you can see exactly what is in it. It's grapes, blueberries, and strawberries. I have a habit of commiting sort of...food genocide. When I eat dinner, say that I have...

Alright, we'll take last night's dinner for example. I had london broil, mushroom rice, scampi noodles, and broccoli.

I go in order of what I like the least, to what I like the most. I take a small sample of everything on my plate, so a bite of scampi, a bite of rice, a slice of steak, and a piece of broccoli. And I see what tastes the best.

Last night, I ate all the meat first. I usually eat the meat first, it's never my favorite. Then I ate all the broccoli. It was really good broccoli, but the pasta and rice were better. Then I ate all the rice and then all the scampi.

So with this berry surprise, I ate all the grapes first, then all the strawberries, then all the blueberries. Grapes are slightly bitter to me and just not as tasty as the berries, so I always eat them first. Strawberries are surprisingly tart and sour to me. Still sweet, but not nearly as sweet as blueberries.

So there is the story of my food genocide. I do it with everything; cereal, trail mix, chips, cookies, dinner, breakfast, fruit, whatever. I'm like the Hitler of food! ...Too soon?

Oh, I also brought a nectarine to school today. Don't know what that is? Surprisingly to me, not many people really do. So here's a picture.